Not Graves Disease!

The Endocrinologist called today to tell me the results of my blood tests. I don’t have Graves disease after all. I have something else- “perhaps it’s just an enlarged nodular thyroid”. Is that good or bad? He didn’t say- just keep taking the pills (one less thyroid blocker) and come back and see him in a month.

Meanwhile fellow thyroid sufferer’s and my family’s sympathy for my “condition” is trying my patience. I guess I am really very lucky as I don’t feel like I have a condition. I feel really good, better than I have felt for a couple of years. For sure I take pills every day and currently can’t drink alcohol but so what? I don’t think of myself as having a condition at this point. I think that I would have condition if I didn’t take the medication. It’s a very different perspective.

I believe I am still me although I have no way of telling except by the behavior of others towards me. But people are constantly asking me if I am alright and this is very disconcerting. Do they perceive me as not alright and if so why? The polite reply if of course some version of “Thank you I am fine.” But the temptation to reply “Why the hell are you asking me this?” is growing. It seems as if I have been labeled “broken” by my peers and they are unable to see beyond it. Over time I guess this will improve- the photo of me in the hospital looking like a Borg will slowly fade from their subconscious.