Down with upbeat OGMs

Today I called Zogger but her wasn't there. As I headed into the traffic jam his dulcet tones struck a chord.

"Hello you have reached 'Zogger' if you'd like to leave a message, please do so after the beep."

But I hadn't reached him. He wasn't there and I was listening to a recording.

I thought about my own (famous amongst my British friends) OGM.

"Hi this *is* Rod Crawford. I am either out of the office or away from my desk. Please leave a message at the tone."

That seemed to be a lie too. The recorded message was not me it was a recorded message.

Thinking about Andy and Sarah's message from a while back it announced itself as "Answering Machine and then gave it's instructions, which to me (in the traffic jam by this point) seemed better.

 

So I am now thinking about a more realistic OGM that reflects the failure of the caller to achieve their goal. Perhaps they failed due to ignorance (they called me when I was asleep). Perhaps they failed due to something unforeseen that they couldn't have known about (like a meeting). Perhaps they failed because I just didn't want to talk to them.

Nonetheless, they failed and I think the OGM should reflect that.

 

So how about:

 

"Hello you have failed to reach Rod Crawford. You can try again or leave a message on this machine which he may hear."

 

Or:

 

"Hello this message reflects your failure to reach Rod Crawford. You might be more successful next time, or you can leave a message on this machine."